Sloane & Sonoma

Hello world! On a weekly basis I think about my lonely little blog and have every intention of posting something brilliant.  Before I know it, weeks have passed and often times I don’t even know where to begin with my updates!  Had some time today between meetings so I thought I would get to it.  So, let’s start with the obvious…

My baby is almost 7 months old.  How on earth!? I sound like a broken record, not to mention I now echo all my other mommy friends with kids, but, “it just keeps getting better!”  I wondered the other day if it was possible to kiss a baby too much? If it is, I have surpassed the appropriate amount.  I know it will be a matter of months until I won’t be able to plant those smooches on her lips as often as I do now, so I am taking FULL advantage of it while I can.  Sloane is rolling all over the place, sitting up and even starting to scoot when you put a toy in front of her that she wants.  Her favorite toy…a toothbrush.  Seriously.  She loves her oatmeal and fruit in the morning and loves to eat fruits and vegetables for dinner.   She made a sour taste and her whole body shivered when I introduced applesauce, but past that, she’s loved everything that has been introduced to her.  I’ve been making her food for the past month or so which I have really enjoyed doing.  However, I picked up some great organic combo’s at Whole Foods last week that she loved, so I’m thinking I might just go that direction since the pureed food stage is for such a short period of time.  Sloane is sleeping great at night.  She is very early to bed and very early to rise but the 10-11+ hours of sleep that she gets makes for a very happy baby, thank you cry it out!  She’s not the best napper in the world but I’m working on that.  Her nighttime sleeping has me less concerned about the amount she is napping during the day, but maybe with a tooth breaking through one of these days she won’t be woken up from her naps.  That seems to be the problem.  

She is my gift. Truly the person I want to hang out with most.  I couldn’t love her anymore than I do.

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photo-34Even though I wouldn’t mind spending my every waking minute with my angel, Ted and I promised each other pre Sloane that we would continue to travel, have time as a couple and keep a “marriage first” family.  What better way to spend time with my hubby than throwing in some good friends and some good wine.  Jesse and Tiffani Dodge and Kevin and Pam Buth meet us in Sonoma for a long weekend of wine tasting, feasting on delicious food, some pool & hot tub action and a wonderful weekend away.  The weather was perfect.  85 and sunny the entire time we were there.  We rented an insane house through VRBO with a pool and hot tub.  The house was so nice in fact that after day #2 of wine tasting, we decided to cancel our dinner reservations, order pizzas to the house so that we could swim and hang out together. It was awesome.  The first stop of the weekend set the bar very high and was probably the highlight of the trip.  We went to Arista Winery.  The owner of the winery gave us a tour of their beautiful property.  He drove us in golf carts to their chicken coup where we picked a dozen fresh eggs and were then introduced to their chef who works at the winery.  The chef showed us around as well and had up pick out of their gardens fresh radish, strawberries, lettuce to put into the lunch he was going to make for us that would be paired with the wines.  We sat at this beautiful table outside overlooking the vineyard and we had the most amazing lunch and the most amazing wine.  It was one of the coolest experiences of my life.  Other biggest highlight of the trip – getting to see the one and only Ms. Molly Warner!  She and her boyfriend Alex, drove up early Saturday to do a full day of wine tasting with us.  It was SOOOOOO great to see her.  Definitely a trip I would do again.  Wine and food, all weekend long, yes please.  Loved the time away but was definitely ready to see my baby girl on Sunday!

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We have an eater!

5 months old, Sloane tried oatmeal for the first time.  Not that I was shocked, she is after all Ted Warner’s child, she loved her oatmeal!!  She has since tried carrots, which she was an enormous fan of and green beans are next on the list.  I’m hoping that she continues to love food but I can’t imagine that I have anything but an eater on my hands.  I just made her first batch of homemade food which was really easy!  A trip to Whole foods for some organic fruits & veggies, throw the carrots (in last nights case) into my baby breeza food processor and it steams and purees the food for you. Threw them in containers in the fridge, labeled them and it was done.  So easy, fun!  Sloane is only eating food one time a day now per her pediatrician, but it has quickly become my favorite part of the day.  Food is everywhere and since she leans over in her little chair and eats her foot in between actual food bites the food it quite literally from head to toe!

Sloane’s 1st bit of food:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODEQBiMrtXk&feature=player_detailpage

Some other 5 month Sloane pics:

 

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Crying It Out

For the past month or so Ted and I were introduced to what real sleep exhaustion means.  We thought we were tired when Sloane was first born, that was NOTHING compared to the 3 weeks we endured before, during and directly after Mexico. 3 nights before we left for Mexico we decided to transition Sloane out of her beloved swaddle to a sleep sac. We were told by friends, family and we read online that the first few nights are brutal.  They were.  Ted and I slept on her bedroom floor the first night, he took the 7pm – midnight shift, I took the midnight-6am shift.  She was up every 1/2 hr, her arms flailing, waking her and then needing us to calm her back down.  B.R.U.T.A.L.  Night #2 with the sleep sac was better. I think we were up every 2-3 hours and that felt like heaven.  By night #3 we got a 5 hours stretch – hallelujah!!!  We figured we didn’t mind being this tried, we were headed to Cabo.

We arrived in Cabo, Sloane did amazing on the flight and having an extra set of hands with our nanny traveling with us was amazing.  The first couple nights in Cabo Sloane didn’t sleep.  We thought that maybe a little warm on her bones and some breeze would help our cause, but no.  For 7 nights, Sloaney girl did NOT sleep. We were up every two hours to put her pacifier back in her mouth that she was crying for.  We thought the sleepsac transition would allow her to find the paci and put it back in herself but we quickly realized she didn’t have the dexterity to do so quite yet.  We figured, what’s another week without sleep, at least we are waking up in Cabo.

Upon our return home, our sweet baby girl got bronchitis. The lack of sleep was officially affecting our health, we could barely focus at work, we figured out very quickly that we could not sustain this lack of sleep and we no longer had the “cabo” trip to look forward to or wake up to.

So we did it….we tried the cry it out method.

Night one and two were brutal for me.  I cried like a baby listening and watching her on the monitor.  There is something completely and totally unnatural I explained to my girlfriends to hear your child cry and not do anything about it.  Ted continued to remind me though that those cries did not mean “mom, I’m sad or something hurts,” those cries meant “mom, give me what I WANTTT!”  I couldn’t give it to her though.  I couldn’t continue to walk into her room every hour on the hour and stick her pacifier in her mouth.  At the same time we knew that she was eating PLENTY in the day time to hold her over throughout the night.  Her night feeding was down to maybe 2 oz, which means that she wasn’t really hungry, she’s just in a routine to have mom or dad hold and feed her. So between the bottle and the paci, we transitioned the pacifier out first and then the feeding.

Something amazing happened by night #3….SHE SLEPT!  Sloane never even cried that long, which we felt very lucky for.  She would go 15 minutes and then we didn’t hear anything.  Over the next few nights, the cries got shorter and shorter and before we knew it, we had nights of rest from 6:30pm to 6am – no bottle, no pacifier! PRAISE THE LORD ABOVE.  The longest she ever went was 45 minutes, but it was 3 different 15 minute cries with breaks in between.  We were told you had to “start over” if you didn’t hear crying.

So to all you mama’s out there.  Cry it out sucks.  It’s hard to hear.  Really, really hard to hear but do you know what sucks more, sleep deprivation for your child and for you. Cry it out is worth it.  It was necessary for our family and I would recommend it to anyone and everyone.

Last night I was able to put my sweet baby girl down to sleep in her crib with a pacifier.  It fell out of her mouth about an hour after she was put down, on the monitor, I watched her little hands look for it.  She couldn’t find it.  My motherly instinct said to go in there and help her but I waited and watched.  She rolled around a few times, started to cry (I can’t even classify it as a real cry, it was more of a frustration noise) and about 3 minutes later, stuck her finger in her mouth and went to sleep.  I woke her to her 10 hours later with a smile on her face.

Bright eyes and smiles in the morning:

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Cabo!

All of last week was spent with my family in Cabo to celebrate my parents 40th wedding anniversary, get out of town and warm out bones.  The weather was perfect, the food was amazing and to be with my entire family was honestly, perfect. We stayed at the most incredible resort and thankfully we had our nanny with us which allowed Ted and I the ability to relax during the day and have “adult” dinners at night!  It was the perfect week and thanks to my dad for finding a professional photographer at the resort, we captured some of the fun this way…

http://animoto.com/play/axzBN3ruVLaEykPJI60W2Q

I will post the rest of the pics later this week 🙂

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3 Months Old

My baby girl is 3 months old.  It’s true, every single day gets better and better.  Sloane is becoming so much more interactive, the smiles melt me into a million pieces and if picking your child up out of her crib to sleep with you for an hour or so in the morning is wrong, I don’t want to be right!

Teddy is definitely the singer in the family but almost daily I find myself singing to my little angel in hopes of getting a smile or at least some snuggle time.  Since I can never remember the words to traditional nursery rhymes or children’s songs you will find me replacing words and phrases to my favorite 90s r & b hits.  A personal favorite thanks to the likes of K-Ci & JoJo is “all my life, I prayed for someone like you and I thank god that I finally met Sloane, all my life I prayed form some like Sloane and I hope that you are kind & smart too!”  When I am in the mood to jazz it up a bit (yes I said that) she seems to be a Motown fan like her mama.  My favorite is to blast the Temptations and dance with her in front of the mirror; “if I had to sleep on the doorstep all night and day just to keep Sloane from walkin away, let your friends laugh, even this I can stand cause I want to kiss Sloane anyway I can!”  The words change often!

She has been the most incredible sleeper, especially the last week or so, sleeping anywhere from 8-10 hours a night.  I think she is going through a growth spurt, but I don’t care the reason…its incredible. She is incredible.  I love my little Sloaney rabbit and I love being her mom.

Here are a few of my favorite shots from my little angel baby:

S1 S2 S3 S4 S5 S6 S7 S8 S9 S10

 

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2 Month Survivor

How in the world is my little girl 2 months old already? It’s officially true – it goes by really, really fast.  I woke up this morning to more smiles than ever, a healthy and happy baby girl and I can say without hesitation that I have never loved anything more in my life.  My little Sloane is truly a miracle.  I try so hard to not be “that” mom that shows everyone pictures and videos of my child or talks 24/7 about pregnancy, birth, raising a baby, but…I am! I am THAT girl!  Perhaps its because its all so new or so wonderful, I am not sure..but I am that girl.  Oh well.

I wanted to use this post though, to not just talk about the bliss that is being a mom to my sweet Sloaney but to talk about the reality that has lead up to this bliss that I am now feeling.  I have so many friends that are new moms (thank GOD for them) and so many friends that are about to embark on this journey so its only fair that I share the reality, the reality of my story anyway.  I apologize ahead of time for any run on sentence or grammatical errors, I just want my thoughts to flow, so here it goes….

Being a mom is HARRRDDDDDDD.  Especially at the beginning.  Like, really, really hard. for me anyway.  Not only from an emotional standpoint but also from a physical standpoint.

I always felt a deep connection with my daughter from the beginning but in the first few weeks at home, I struggled. I struggled big time.  The “baby blues” I guess they call them, but I’m certain my experience was a combination of the baby blues and my world getting turned upside down.  There is no amount of preparation that you gets your ready for this experience. Caring for an infant on zero sleep, being terrified you are doing it wrong, having 30 different opinions on how you should be feeding your child and lets not forget that your body just went through a major trauma and that shit HURTS!  My gosh, I’ve never cried more than I did in Sloane’s first few weeks of life.  The tears came flowing for anything and everything.  Happy tears, sad, tears, overwhelmed tears, tired tears, complete melt down tears and hopeful tears….they did not STOP.  I can’t tell you how many times I looked in the mirror and thought “who are you?” Someone who prided herself on having it all together, to put it mildly, I was a mess.  I would put on a great front for visitors and most important for when I was caring for my baby girl as I didn’t want my tears to affect her in anyway (that’s how I was thinking) but deep down I was sad.  I was scared and too many times in a day I felt like it was all too much.

Then there is the guilt. The guilt that comes in a million different forms too.  Guilt that I wanted some semblance of my “prior” life, like a manicure or the freedom to just jump in the car and go to the grocery store.  The guilt that I am not signing, reading, playing or attending to my new born as much as I should. Guilt that I am not paying enough attention to my husband or handling my responsibilities as a wife, sister, daughter, friend, like I used to.  Guilt that in the middle of the night, when she was up for the 4th time that I truly and honestly thought “I don’t care.”  So much damn guilt which equals more tears.

There were moments where I felt like I could do it, that I was doing it, and then in a flash breakdown.  There were some dark moments.

But here I am, 2 months later, a survivor.  A survivor of the tears, the hormones, the healing.  Still in the thick of not knowing what the hell I am doing and the “guilt” exists in different ways now (like going back to work) but here is my story, a story that over the last few weeks I have become proud of.  I am proud because I know my experience will help someone and the lessons that I have learned about myself in a short time have made me a stronger woman and a better mom.

So here it is mommies to be, here is my advice:  It will pass.  The bad moments will pass, the sadness will pass, the feeling of being out of control and so incredibly scared will subside.  You will heal, both physically and mentally and you will figure out how to be you again while being a mom.  You will figure out how to make your to-do list, get it done and have time for the singing, book & quality baby time.  It will just happen.  Lean on your family, your friends and know that most mom’s have felt these exact same things and that you are not alone.

Today I look at my smiley, strong little girl and know that its all worth it. I would do it all over again (ahhhhhhhhh) because in the end you have the most incredible little person that will flip your life upside down and when the dust settles you will realize that your new life is better than you could have ever imagined.

Thank you Sloane for everything you have taught me about my own life and about being a new kind of superhero: a mom.

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Welcome to the world Sloane Murphy Warner

On October 22nd, 2012 @ 9:33am our lives changed forever when Ted and I welcomed our healthy daughter into the world, Sloane Murphy Warner.  7 lbs 5 oz, 22 inches long. After around 30 hours of labor and 45 minutes of delivery, my doctor instructed me to reach my arms over my stomach, where he placed my hands around my baby girl and had me deliver the rest of her body onto my chest.  Without a doubt it was the most incredible moment of my entire life.

Sloane’s first days of life have been filled with love, family & friends and as my good friend Orlee so perfectly said, “there has to be another word invented for your children, because love doesn’t adequately describe the feeling.”  Ted and I couldn’t agree more.

I am thankful to god and to my husband for giving me this incredible gift.  My life is so full.

Welcome to the world sweet angel.

Sloane & Daddy.

So alert & so beautiful.

Mommy looks very tired in this picture, but this is my favorite time of the day, skin to skin.  

Brother Steve, getting to know his sister.  He has been so good, we are so proud of our “first child!”

 

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