It was a busy day of work. As usual I found myself tap dancing all day long for clients, selling myself internally, and making sure my entire office thinks of me as the one of the people excelling, winning the race, setting the example…its exhausting. On the one hand, these clients pay my bills, afford me the life that I enjoy and appreciate, but on the other hand I find myself throughout the day wondering “is this really worth it?” Ted tells me to keep things in perspective, to always remember that working is a means to do the thing that you REALLY enjoy, but I wonder, if you spend so much time doing one thing shouldn’t you be totally fulfilled by it? I wouldn’t stay married to Ted if he didn’t fulfill me but paid my bills, it makes no sense, I wouldn’t stay friends with someone who made me feel so uneasy, so why do I, as do a lot of people, make exceptions when it comes to our careers? What is is that should fulfill us?
After a long day at the office like today was, the last thing on earth I want to think about is cooking dinner. It’s become somewhat routine to call home around 4:30pm and say “where do you want to go to dinner” rather than taking the time and energy that is necessary to cook at home. Tonight however through several different changes in dinner plans we end up at Ted’s parents house. Mo had made the most exceptional vegetable soup, which I more than appreciated since I’ve been battling a cold the last couple days. Over a couple glasses of wine, some vegetable soup for my soul and another season of “Dancing with the Stars” in the background I realized….this is truly what MY soul needs, this is what fulfills me. It’s not about work, its not about the tap dancing all day long, its about FAMILY, its about what brings MY family together to spend time with one another, communicate, enjoy life together….THE MEAL.
It’s my goal from here on out to go to work, do my job to the fullest of my abilities and then leave the job. Make time to plan a meal, cook that meal with happiness and joy and most important to share that meal with the people that I love. Sitting around a table with food on your plate fosters good communication, a strong tradition and the ability to take off my tap shoes and concentrate on what really matters in my life.
I think I’ll invite my grandma Mare over for dinner tomorrow!