The Way He Looks

Ted, sometimes gets a “look” on his face.  It’s really hard to put into words what this “look” is, but I have really only seen it on two other people in my life besides Ted, my dad and my brother-in-law.  This “look” doesn’t happen often, but when it does it’s a combination of pure love and sadness rolled into one for me.  I know…I’m starting to sound nuts but let me explain….. At the most unexpected moments I have seen this “look” on all 3 of these men.  At the moment that I see it, I have a gut reaction to burst into tears but in reality this look actually reflects happiness, deep kindness, a kind of contentment in all of them.  This “look” is also typically unexpected.  Never do I see it while they are in the middle of a crowd telling a joke, or standing with a group of friends, this “look” comes from the moments where they are truly in their authentic self perhaps listening to someone speak, smiling at someone, even in moments of deep thought and laughter.  Today I got to see this “look” on Ted.

We received some news today that the full-time job Ted was interested in was not going to be given to him at this time.  Truth be told, I am confident if he had more time, he would have been hired, but he had a time constraint as he was offered another summer internship position that he had to report back to this week.  In the moments of the news,  I could tell that he was disappointed, however confident that this summer internship would give him the necessary experience that he needs to boost his finance career.  He has been working for over a year to get his foot in the door and his hard work has finally paid off.  Because I knew he had mixed emotions this morning, I kept a little bit of space to ensure that he had the morning to work through his thoughts.  I was delighted by noon, when he called to tell me that he was going to be able to meet my mom, grandma Mare and I for lunch.  Ted walked into the restaurant, saw us at the table and that’s when I saw the “look.”

As I said earlier, my initial reaction was to burst into tears but slowly a calm smile came across my face.  I realized in that moment that the “look” almost always encompasses one common theme, happiness.  For whatever the reason, whether it was finally knowing where he is going to start his career, walking up to a table of 3 people who adore him, or perhaps it was something as simple as Ted being excited for a meal, I am confident that I have figured out the reason behind the “look.”  There is no better feeling in the world for me than to see him happy and I am confident that I will have the pleasure of seeing the “look” more often in the months to come.

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